Tuesday, July 19, 2011

PS. Hi, and welcome.

Perhaps it would have been wise of me to start off with an introductory post. That would have been the polite thing to do, yes?

Hello, blogstastic sexual creatures. I do hope you are enjoying life while you are taking a gander here.

My name is Ellie, and as you may have gathered from my first post, I am a 29 year old female. My story can get lengthy, so I'll give you a quick summary. I am a huge fan of lists, so dig.

-Born in London, grew up in Bromley;
-Moved to the Bay Area [California, for those of you who haven't heard] when I was 6;
-Moved back to London at 12, only to stay for two years;
-Arrived back in the Bay a week before Freshman year of high school;
-Was an unhappy teenager, who barely graduated high school;
-Lost my virginity a week after graduation;
-Went all the way up to Cheney, WA to attend the only 4-year university that accepted me;
-Within one quarter, realized I really should have stayed at home and gotten all my GE's done at a community college;
-It took my parents 3 years to catch on;
-Major Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder came out swinging during those 3 years;
-Came home in 2004, started working retail and taking classes at a community college;
-Have a huge math block, and that's the only thing holding me back from finishing my degree at a Cal State school;
-After a couple bad employment choices, I am back at the job I started at 7 years ago;
-In August or September, I'm going to take that damn math class & a science class, pass both, and hopefully start the final part of my degree;
-I'm aiming for Sociology or Anthropology with a minor in Creative Writing, that will lead to an eventual graduate degree in Sociology or Anthropology with an emphasis on Human Sexuality;
-Sex has been a steady part of my life for the past 11 years, and I hope it stays that way...
-Even if I did have a couple year hiatus.

Ladies, gents, Martians, that is Ellie for the most part. Of course, there is so much more to tell. You'll get snippets here and there.

This blog is a place for me to discuss the sex that I have had, the sex I'd like to have, dreams that make me stick my fist between my thighs, commentary on human sexuality and how the world deals with it, and answering any questions you may have. Please, I urge you to ask questions. I'm hoping to help build the community of women who talk openly and honestly about sex. We need more women!!

Oh, the memories...

You think Rob Zombie's Halloween is freaky? I beg to differ.

I'm nearing 30. And, I'm still single. That's downright horrifying!!

Most of my life, I hated the idea of traditional, suburban marriage. Men and women pairing off, shacking up, decorating their homes with cute decor [the worst part, really], and popping out 2.1 kids [is that statistic still relevant & correct?] - it was never really appealing. Perhaps moving between London and the Bay Area set me up for a mildly unconventional outlook on life. You must admit, being able to call to amazing parts of the world home is pretty fantastic.

Growing up, I was very much an individual, with equal amounts of softness and wildness. While I was happy to stay inside and play with my dolls and stuffed animals, sometimes I'd rather be riding my bike or doing belly flops or running around chasing bugs. Usually, I would hate wearing dresses and opted for the chic neon green leggings that were all the rage in the late 80s, early 90s.

I hated playing house with the other girls, especially when we had to pretend to give birth. That was embarrassing, disgusting, unnecessary. I kept fighting my turn. One day, just to shut them up, I promised them I would play along just once. I got on my back, lifted up my legs all the way up like I had seen the other girls do, and fake a really strenuous labor. [How they knew what a woman in labor looked like baffled me. I had an idea, but I didn't realize how ugly & stupid it looked.] What embarrassed me more than the idea of pretending to push a baby out of my virginal, pure cooch is that I looked I had been constipated for days and was trying to pass the biggest turd of my life. I hate human excrement. Always have, always will. So, anything that reminds me of pooping will always embarrass me. Since then, I never had to play the mother, wife, grandmother, sister, or maid; they let me be the man of the house.

It wasn't until I was about 15 or 16 when I really started considering the idea of getting married and having a family. My idea of love was so unfaithful, that it was hard to fathom a marriage in my future. I wanted to be married. I wanted to have children. My life plan was all mapped out: a theater degree by 21, married by 22, own a house by 24; have three children [at ages 25, 27, & 29]. Look how that turned out. No degree. No wedding. No house. No children. I don't even have a potential lifelong man friend. And, I don't want three kids. Well, maybe I do, but I am too old for maybe.

Nearing 30, I finally figured myself out. It took years of being without a path and an impending decade gone for the light bulb to turn on. I want to be me. A degree will happen sooner rather than later. I might fall in love. Children might be in my future. Travel definitely is... But, I can't foresee anything major happening in my life, because I hate disappointment.

I will say, I have had some fun along the way. I promise, I'll get to the juicy stuff soon. This is supposed to be all about sex, right!?? There is [or was] never a dull moment in my pants. Hold on, dearies. Get ready for a fabulous ride.